On A Missed Friend Named Ivan
I wrote this entry last December 1, 2008 on my Blogspot:
Hindi ko maintindihan iyong mga text na nabasa ko. Naramdaman ko ng may hindi magandang nangyari sayo pero ayokong isipin na ganito.Noong kasama ko nga si Kat at Gem parang masamang biro lang ito. Ang tagal bago tumimo sa isip ko na totoong nangyayari ito. Hindi naman kasi kapani-paniwala. Parang hindi totoo na lumisan ka na at hindi na babalik pa. Noon lang mag-isa akong nakasakay ng jeep saka ko hindi napigilang umiyak.
Kahapon lang iniisip ko ang Botolan. Hindi naman ako makakarating doon kung hindi dahil sayo. Hindi pa natin nakukumpleto ang “Zambalea Trilogy.” In the making pa rin ang “Zambalea Revolutions” pero malamang hindi na mag-showing.
Naaalala ko noong halos sabay-sabay tayong nawalan ng minamahal ni Shai. Malaking tulong rin iyong mga salitang narinig ko mula sayo dahil alam kong nararamdaman mo kung ano eksakto ang nararamdaman ko.
Kailan lang ba noong magkita-kita tayo sa Greenbelt? Hindi naman sumagi sa isip ko na iyon na pala ang huling pagkakataong makikita at makakasama kita.
Hindi ko na makakalimutan ang kantang “Shake Body, Body Dancer” kasi iyon ang ringtone mo at talagang sinasayawan pa natin iyon kahit na nagdadrive ka pabalik ng Manila mula Zambales.
Kapag nakakita ako ng reading glasses na walang lens, maalala kita. Tuwang-tuwa ako sa fashion sense mo at gandang-ganda ako sa mga pictures mo.
Tuwing makakakita ako ng bonfire, ikaw ang maiisip ko. Paano ko ba naman makakalimutan na muntik ng mabarbeque iyong cellphone mo imbes na iyong mga hotdog at marshmallows na binili natin?
Kapag titingila ako sa langit kapag gabi, hahanapin ko iyong Orion’s belt na ginawa nating Orion’s headband dahil hindi ninyo siya makita noong nagstastargazing tayo. Nagpaparamihan pa tayo ng mga bulalakaw na mapapadaan. Natupad ba iyong mga hiniling mo?
Ngayong gabi, maganda ang makikita sa langit. Kaiba ang ayos ng buwan, Jupiter at Venus, parang mukhang nakangiti. Sana alam mo kung gaano karaming pagkakataon na napangiti mo kami.
Ayoko sanang sabihin ito…
Paalam, Ivan.
=========####=========
On the early morning of November 30, 2008, Ivan was brutally murdered. The first information I got was that he died because of a fire accident. It was so hard to believe that he’s gone. I was just consoling myself by the thought that he passed away asleep and didn’t feel a thing. But then the news came and I saw the reports on online, and what they say is that he didn’t die in the way that I initially thought he did. It was no accident. The fire was just a cover up to hide the evidence of killing him. I can’t think of anyone who would do that to him. He’s one of the nicest persons I’ve known and the flood of posts from different people about the sadness of his lost would attested to that.
It’s been months since he had died and his case is still open. We are still praying, hoping and waiting for justice to be served. His cousins had created a site called “Justice For Ivan” with the hope that people would be able to help us in achieving justice.
It was his birthday last April 11. We remembered and felt the pain of his lost again.
